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Dec. 28th, 2003 08:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
claudia603Yep. This is SO very terribly horribly wrong. This is my payment to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
danachan for the trashy plot bunny she's going to write about Frodo in a jail knocked up by Boromir.
Don’t own it. Don’t make money off it.
So Wrong
“Come closer,” Denethor’s voice was low and ominous, like the growl of a wild cat before attack.
“Yes, my lord.” Pippin’s stomach fell as he stepped until he stood between the knees of the steward. He had gotten himself in deep this time. Denethor was nothing like Boromir, who had laughed easily, or like Faramir, who had a gentle heart.
A rough hand caressed Pippin’s cheek and he tried not to cringe. The steward’s breath smelled of a sickening combination of chicken and tomatoes and grapes.
Denethor’s lips, still smeared with the splattered juice of tomato or grape, turned into half a smile as his hand slithered behind Pippin’s neck and pulled the hobbit into a close embrace.
“The end is near, Master Hobbit,” he whispered, kissing Pippin’s pointy ear. “Let us take what pleasure we can.”
Pippin shuddered.
“He trembles,” Denethor said mockingly, petting Pippin’s cheek. He bent down and his lips consumed Pippin’s. Pippin tasted all the steward had been eating, and he tried not to gag.
He wished more than ever that he had obeyed Gandalf and kept his mouth shut.
Merry was right. He never could.
danachan for the trashy plot bunny she's going to write about Frodo in a jail knocked up by Boromir.Don’t own it. Don’t make money off it.
So Wrong
“Come closer,” Denethor’s voice was low and ominous, like the growl of a wild cat before attack.
“Yes, my lord.” Pippin’s stomach fell as he stepped until he stood between the knees of the steward. He had gotten himself in deep this time. Denethor was nothing like Boromir, who had laughed easily, or like Faramir, who had a gentle heart.
A rough hand caressed Pippin’s cheek and he tried not to cringe. The steward’s breath smelled of a sickening combination of chicken and tomatoes and grapes.
Denethor’s lips, still smeared with the splattered juice of tomato or grape, turned into half a smile as his hand slithered behind Pippin’s neck and pulled the hobbit into a close embrace.
“The end is near, Master Hobbit,” he whispered, kissing Pippin’s pointy ear. “Let us take what pleasure we can.”
Pippin shuddered.
“He trembles,” Denethor said mockingly, petting Pippin’s cheek. He bent down and his lips consumed Pippin’s. Pippin tasted all the steward had been eating, and he tried not to gag.
He wished more than ever that he had obeyed Gandalf and kept his mouth shut.
Merry was right. He never could.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2003-12-28 06:11 pm (UTC)That said, very well done. It gave me the creeps, seriously. And I mean that as a compliment. *g*
*hands Pippin a breath mint and offers to make it alllll better*
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Date: 2003-12-28 06:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-28 06:48 pm (UTC)Love the final lines. *evil sounding cackles*
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Date: 2003-12-28 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-28 07:02 pm (UTC)You've taken me straight back to the Canberra con with that little nightmare!
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Date: 2003-12-28 08:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-28 07:02 pm (UTC)...right?
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Date: 2003-12-28 07:06 pm (UTC)*cough*
Yes, I needed to say that in all caps, why are you looking at me like that!
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From:*shudder*
Date: 2003-12-28 07:48 pm (UTC)Claudia, you are scary (and brilliant!).
Re: *shudder*
Date: 2003-12-28 08:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-28 08:48 pm (UTC)I bet you wrote this to get back and me and trianne for making you write that pairing we gave youno subject
Date: 2003-12-29 05:00 am (UTC)I managed to squick myself so I ended up punishing myself, too :-D
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Date: 2003-12-28 08:53 pm (UTC)Claudia: the dangerous talent that could single-handedly destroy the world as we know it.
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Date: 2003-12-29 05:02 am (UTC)Saruman/Grima/Merry - not sure it could get much squickier than that. Unless you add an orc into the mix :-D
Frodo/orc/Ringwraith. There's another one...
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Date: 2004-01-05 05:01 am (UTC)That is hysterical. I've only just discovered Claudia, but from what I've read, I can see how that fits. *g*
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Date: 2003-12-29 12:32 am (UTC)Yes, I squealed aloud when I read the cut text. MORE! Or maybe I'll write the next bit...muhahahahaha!!!
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Date: 2003-12-29 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-29 07:20 pm (UTC)*cough* Hi.
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Date: 2003-12-29 01:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-29 05:11 am (UTC)chicken and tomatoes and grapes
Date: 2003-12-29 04:50 pm (UTC)I'm so happy I'm not the only one who thought along these lines. I kept thinking "so what else does Denethor want to use his new hobbit's sweet mouth for"? Squicky!!
Of course it bred some lovely Boromir/Pippin/Faramir shaped bunnies. (It makes sense to me.)
BTW, do you mind if I add you to my friends list? I actually joined LiveJournal just so I could review your fics directly. Speaking of which, what's going on with "Lantern Gift"? *Hint Hint*
=^.^= Aly
Re: chicken and tomatoes and grapes
Date: 2003-12-29 05:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-29 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-29 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-01 05:20 pm (UTC)And who eats tomatoes and grapes at the same time, anyway? I think the extras in charge of food need a good horse-whipping.
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Date: 2004-01-01 09:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2004-01-03 07:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 08:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-05 04:57 am (UTC)You've certainly knocked the creep factor up a notch by having the Stewart's appetite turn toward our poor Pip.
Well done! ;-)
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Date: 2004-01-05 01:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-12-12 11:01 pm (UTC)(I mean, despite Denethor's nasty breath.)
I love him petting Pip and kissing his ear. :DDDD
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Date: 2010-12-12 11:08 pm (UTC)