claudia603 | (no subject)

Yep. This is SO very terribly horribly wrong. This is my payment to

danachan for the trashy plot bunny she's going to write about Frodo in a jail knocked up by Boromir.

Don’t own it. Don’t make money off it.

So Wrong

“Come closer,” Denethor’s voice was low and ominous, like the growl of a wild cat before attack.

“Yes, my lord.” Pippin’s stomach fell as he stepped until he stood between the knees of the steward. He had gotten himself in deep this time. Denethor was nothing like Boromir, who had laughed easily, or like Faramir, who had a gentle heart.

A rough hand caressed Pippin’s cheek and he tried not to cringe. The steward’s breath smelled of a sickening combination of chicken and tomatoes and grapes.

Denethor’s lips, still smeared with the splattered juice of tomato or grape, turned into half a smile as his hand slithered behind Pippin’s neck and pulled the hobbit into a close embrace.

“The end is near, Master Hobbit,” he whispered, kissing Pippin’s pointy ear. “Let us take what pleasure we can.”

Pippin shuddered.

“He trembles,” Denethor said mockingly, petting Pippin’s cheek. He bent down and his lips consumed Pippin’s. Pippin tasted all the steward had been eating, and he tried not to gag.

He wished more than ever that he had obeyed Gandalf and kept his mouth shut.

Merry was right. He never could.

Threaded | Flat

Yeargh, poor Pip!

That said, very well done. It gave me the creeps, seriously. And I mean that as a compliment. *g*

*hands Pippin a breath mint and offers to make it alllll better*

You? Have made me go blind with the sheer WRONG of this wrong. For there is no other wrong that is quite so wrong as this. I think it goes without saying that I enjoyed it as well as having felt for poor Pip. But that is just the way of the me.

Love the final lines. *evil sounding cackles*

*shudder*

You've taken me straight back to the Canberra con with that little nightmare!

You are going to write more of this, right?

...right?

OMG, that is the creepiest thing I've read in a long, long time.

Claudia, you are scary (and brilliant!).

This is just so terribly wrong that I don't have any words. It's just so very very squicky. Congratulations!

~~I bet you wrote this to get back and me and trianne for making you write that pairing we gave you~~

Ha! I think Lora's comment is on the money, but you're only proving to us all that you'll write any pairing, no matter how squicky! X wants some Saruman/Grima/Merry? Give it to Claudia, she'll write anything. (Yes, you're the Mikey of fandom.)

Claudia: the dangerous talent that could single-handedly destroy the world as we know it.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I squealed aloud when I read the cut text. MORE! Or maybe I'll write the next bit...muhahahahaha!!!

Ewwww yuck yuck yuck! Denethor is simply revolting. Poor Pippin, if only the poor little blighter had counted to ten before being all spontaneous. Denethor = evil, not as evil as Sauron but it's not far off. Very well written, but oh how I shudder at this pairing.

Ergh!! Wasn't that the most nastiest thing in the movie (even Frodo's finger wasn't that sickening--maybe because I expected it)? I was so glad I hadn't gotten any popcorn.

I'm so happy I'm not the only one who thought along these lines. I kept thinking "so what else does Denethor want to use his new hobbit's sweet mouth for"? Squicky!!

Of course it bred some lovely Boromir/Pippin/Faramir shaped bunnies. (It makes sense to me.)

BTW, do you mind if I add you to my friends list? I actually joined LiveJournal just so I could review your fics directly. Speaking of which, what's going on with "Lantern Gift"? *Hint Hint*

=^.^= Aly

I used to like those little grape tomatoes. Where is my toothbrush?

The WRONGNESS here is that . . . it should be Frood!!! Imagine how Denethor's jowls would drop at one peek of that lovely flesh . . .

And who eats tomatoes and grapes at the same time, anyway? I think the extras in charge of food need a good horse-whipping.

Ah how wonderfully twisted. :) I hope you don't mind if I friend you, I'd hate to miss out on anymore of your fics!

This scene was tough enough to take in the film, what with Pippin trying to hold back his tears and Denethor eating like an animal.

You've certainly knocked the creep factor up a notch by having the Stewart's appetite turn toward our poor Pip.

Well done! ;-)

Oh, this was HAWT.

(I mean, despite Denethor's nasty breath.)

I love him petting Pip and kissing his ear. :DDDD